Barbecue (alt.food.barbecue) Discuss barbecue and grilling--southern style "low and slow" smoking of ribs, shoulders and briskets, as well as direct heat grilling of everything from burgers to salmon to vegetables.

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Default Cooking a man

Hi,

my wife Isabel, 36, is a female cannibal and she'd really like to eat me for
real, but she doesn't like blood and guts.

She has asked me, if you can roast a male whole without gutting him and
moving his entrails.

Is that possible? I mean, I could have enemas to clean myself, is it
possible to cook a man with all his internal organs?

-F.R.


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Default Cooking a man

I would like to discuss m
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wrote:
> I would like to discuss m
>

Gutting: The next major step is complete evisceration of the carcass. To
begin, make a cut from the solar plexus, the point between the
breastbone and stomach, almost to the anus. Be very careful not to cut
into the intestines, as this will contaminate the surrounding area with
bacteria and possibly feces (if this does happen, cleanse thoroughly). A
good way to avoid this is to use the knife inside the abdominal wall,
blade facing toward you, and making cautious progress.

Make a cut around the anus, or "bung", and tie it off with twine. This
also prevents contamination, keeping the body from voiding any material
left in the bowel. With a saw, cut through the pubic bone, or "aitch".
The lower body is now completely open, and you can begin to pull the
organ masses (large and small intestines, kidneys, liver, stomach) out
and cut them away from the back wall of the body.

For the upper torso, first cut through the diaphragm around the inner
surface of the carcass. This is the muscular membrane which divides the
upper, or thoracic, and the lower abdominal cavities. Remove the
breastbone, cutting down to the point on each side where it connects to
the ribs, and then sawing through and detaching it from the collar bone.
Some prefer to cut straight through the middle, depending on the ideas
you have for cuts in the final stages. The heart and lungs may be
detached and the throat cut into to remove the larynx and trachea. Once
all of the inner organs have been removed, trim away any blood vessels
or remaining pieces of connective tissue from the interior of the
carcass, and wash out thoroughly.

Remove the Arms: Actual butchering of the carcass is now ready to begin.
Cut into the armpit straight to the shoulder, and remove the arm bone,
the humerus, from the collar bone and shoulder blade. Chop the hand off
an inch or so above the wrist. Most of the meat here is between elbow
and shoulder, as the muscle groups are larger here and due to the fact
that there are two bones in the forearm. Another way of cutting this
portion is to cut away the deltoid muscle from the upper arm near the
shoulder (but leaving it attached to the trunk) before removing the
limb. This decreases the percentage of useable meat on the arm, but
allows a larger shoulder strip when excising the shoulder blade. Purely
a matter of personal preference. Cut into and break apart the joint of
the elbow, and the two halves of each arm are now ready for carving
servings from. Human flesh should always be properly cooked before eating.

Halving the Carcass: The main body is now ready to be split. Some like
to saw straight through the spine from buttocks to neck. This leaves the
muscle fiber encasing the vertebrae on the end of the ribs. The meat
here however is tightly wrapped about the bone, and we find it more
suitable (if used at all) when boiled for soup. Thus, our preferred
method is to completely remove the entire backbone by cutting and then
sawing down either side from the tailbone on through.

http://www.churchofeuthanasia.org/e-...s/butcher.html
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It depends upon whether or not you need to. Do you enjoy this act? Or do
you generally wish the pigeon?

Pidge, my friend, is not a real item. The item generally costs a whopping
$4.99 but rather than buying it, most people simply steal it. It's an
easy item to pillage, being not real.

I like it when squirrels tickel my Tandy.

Best Bushes,
Pinteruter

--- news://freenews.netfront.net/ - complaints: ---
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Default Cooking a man

"Bread Basket" > wrote:
> It depends upon whether or not you need to. Do you enjoy this act? Or
> do you generally wish the pigeon?
>
> Pidge, my friend, is not a real item. The item generally costs a
> whopping $4.99 but rather than buying it, most people simply steal it.
> It's an easy item to pillage, being not real.
>
> I like it when squirrels tickel my Tandy.
>
> Best Bushes,
> Pinteruter
>
> --- news://freenews.netfront.net/ - complaints: ---


I prefer to cook fake men, which is really just cooking green toy soldiers
in bregs. I prefer real green apple splatters with my beef shits and rice.

The minds eye is wanderin' into a scissoring session. Cut the ribbon on
this news server, we are done Mr. Sammy.

Well done Mr. Birmingham, you successfully taught him how to cook a
man...some bregs.

Protesting,
Larry Holiday


--
-- -- ?? ? ? ÷ ¤ )MMkay17432( ¤ ÷?? ? ?

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