OK, hope you like them.

What do you call a cow with 2 shorter legs?
Lean Beef

What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.

And a final one. Though not a cow joke.

What famous person has had the most number of kids?










Michael Jackson


Hope you liked them. I thought they were pretty good.
BBQ

Ha,Ha LOL I sent Dad a copy, speaking of dad, if you have the time & via
email to me would be appreciated by the group I am sure. I found out he is
using IE version I am not sure of yet and his isp is WI-FI it is from
comm4comm, never heard of them and not too sure about this wi-fi thing.

--
"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in
one pretty well preserved piece, but to skid across the line broadside,
thoroughly used up, worn out, shouting GERONIMO !"
Bruce

Ol' Hippie wrote:
Ha,Ha LOL I sent Dad a copy, speaking of dad, if you have the time & via
email to me would be appreciated by the group I am sure. I found out he is
using IE version I am not sure of yet and his isp is WI-FI it is from
comm4comm, never heard of them and not too sure about this wi-fi thing.

Ol' Hippie,

I will do my best to write the steps necessary to help you get your dad
set up in this group.

1. Open Internet Explorer
2. From menu bar click TOOLS
(This should give you a drop down box)
3. From the drop down box select Mail and News
(This should open yet another box. On mine it only has one option
READ NEWS. Click this.
4. Clicking READ NEWS should open up Outlook Express
From menu bar of Outlook Express click TOOLS
(This should give you a drop down box)
5. From this drop down box select ACCOUNTS
(This should open up an Internet Accounts box)
6. Click on the NEWS tab
7. On the right should be some boxes ADD, REMOVE, PROPERTIES, etc.
8. If he has nothing set up, select ADD
9. Another box should open up. Select NEWS
(This will open up a Wizard)
10. Put in a name that he would like to use Click NEXT
11. Put in e-mail address he would like have displayed on posts he

creates(STRONGLY recommended he use a phony e-mail address to
prevent spam)
12. Click NEXT. Put in the newserver. Also called NNTP server

For Comm4Comm it is: news.ascendance.net

Click NEXT than FINISH
13. He should now have the Internet Accounts box showing
news.ascendance.net as an account
14. Click CLOSE and it may ask to download the list of newsgroups
available through his ISP. Once this list is available
he should locate alt.food.barbecue (if he keys it in make sure of
correct spelling) and subscribe to this group.
15. After subscribing, from Internet Explorer menu bar
select TOOLS
select Mail and News
select READ NEWS
16. It should have a Box showing the Name he entered to use for the
Newsgroup(you use OL' Hippie) and a password. If he is already
connected to the net, I don't think he needs a password.
He can select CANCEL and HIDE (this may be a box indicating some
errors)
17. Outlook Express should now be open
18. On the left should be a window showing his newserver
Select this then Right click mouse and
Select Open.
19. In the larger window the message subjects should be displayed.
20. Select a subject and explore, read and enjoy!!!!!!

I sent this to the group cause though I tried to be as detailed as
possible, there is likely to be some glitches. And hoping any others who
may notice a glitch will offer to help.

Happy Q'en,
BBQ

I just sent it to him, works on my computer, we will see I will let you know
& Thanks a bunch.

--
"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in
one pretty well preserved piece, but to skid across the line broadside,
thoroughly used up, worn out, shouting GERONIMO !"
Bruce

"Steve Wertz" wrote in message
...
On Tue, 25 Nov 2003 04:20:45 GMT, bbq wrote

What do you call a cow with 2 shorter legs?

Eileene.

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Boner the Boneless.

-sw

Did you hear the one about the homosexual highland bull?

He preferred nibbling Peat rather than Heather!

Graeme

"Steve Wertz" wrote in message
...
On Tue, 25 Nov 2003 15:56:44 GMT, "Graeme... in London"
wrote:

Did you hear the one about the homosexual highland bull?

He preferred nibbling Peat rather than Heather!

groan Englidh jokes don't fare well here. Did anybpody else get
that? ;-)

-swhattimeiswhenanelephantsitsonafencew\

Time to buy a new fence?

Steve Wertz wrote:

On Tue, 25 Nov 2003 15:56:44 GMT, "Graeme... in London"
wrote:


Did you hear the one about the homosexual highland bull?

He preferred nibbling Peat rather than Heather!


groan Englidh jokes don't fare well here. Did anybpody else get
that? ;-)

-swhattimeiswhenanelephantsitsonafencew

I got the nibbling Peat, but do not undestand the rather than Heather part.

Don't know. What time?

Happy Q'en,
BBQ

"bbq" wrote in message
news:L_Mwb.305263$Fm2.323901@attbi_s04...


Steve Wertz wrote:

On Tue, 25 Nov 2003 15:56:44 GMT, "Graeme... in London"
wrote:


Did you hear the one about the homosexual highland bull?

He preferred nibbling Peat rather than Heather!


groan Englidh jokes don't fare well here. Did anybpody else get
that? ;-)

-swhattimeiswhenanelephantsitsonafencew

I got the nibbling Peat, but do not undestand the rather than Heather
part.

Sorry! Heather is a popular girls name in Scotland. (and is also a free
growing plant of the genus Erica)

Don't know. What time?

Happy Q'en,
BBQ

Steve Wertz typed:
On Tue, 25 Nov 2003 15:56:44 GMT, "Graeme... in London"
wrote:

Did you hear the one about the homosexual highland bull?

He preferred nibbling Peat rather than Heather!

groan Englidh jokes don't fare well here. Did anybpody else get
that? ;-)

-swhattimeiswhenanelephantsitsonafencew

(Raising hand) I did, I did! But I used to watch Benny Hill and Monty Python a
lot, too.

BOB
timeforanewfence

" BOB" wrote in message
...
Steve Wertz typed:
On Tue, 25 Nov 2003 15:56:44 GMT, "Graeme... in London"
wrote:

Did you hear the one about the homosexual highland bull?

He preferred nibbling Peat rather than Heather!

groan Englidh jokes don't fare well here. Did anybpody else get
that? ;-)

-swhattimeiswhenanelephantsitsonafencew

(Raising hand) I did, I did! But I used to watch Benny Hill and Monty
Python a
lot, too.

BOB
timeforanewfence

OK another Cow Joke: (a poor one)

2 dyslexic cows go skiing,
They are standing at the top of the piste.
The first dyslexic cow says "this is a black run..its very fast, we better
zag-zig down the slope".
The second dyslexic cows says "I think you're wrong. We have to Zig-zag"!
The first cow says..."NO! We have to zag-zig"
The second cow says "To settle this argument lets ask this man coming up on
the chairlift what we should do"
"Excuse me sir..should we zag-zig down the slope or should we zig-zag"
The man on the chairlift says "Sorry I don't know, I'm a tobogganist"
Both cows then say "Oh good! Can we have 20 Marlboro please"

Sorry for being way OT

Graeme (bringing you Scottish humour at its worst)

"Steve Wertz" wrote in message

On Tue, 25 Nov 2003 15:56:44 GMT, "Graeme... in London"
wrote:

Did you hear the one about the homosexual highland bull?

He preferred nibbling Peat rather than Heather!

groan Englidh jokes don't fare well here. Did anybpody else get
that? ;-)

I got it. I thought it was pretty funny in a groaning kind of way.

JD

"Graeme in London" wrote in message
s.com
" BOB" wrote in message
...
Steve Wertz typed:
On Tue, 25 Nov 2003 15:56:44 GMT, "Graeme... in London"
wrote:

Did you hear the one about the homosexual highland bull?

He preferred nibbling Peat rather than Heather!

groan Englidh jokes don't fare well here. Did anybpody else get
that? ;-)

-swhattimeiswhenanelephantsitsonafencew

(Raising hand) I did, I did! But I used to watch Benny Hill and
Monty Python a lot, too.

BOB
timeforanewfence

OK another Cow Joke: (a poor one)

2 dyslexic cows go skiing,
They are standing at the top of the piste.
The first dyslexic cow says "this is a black run..its very fast, we
better zag-zig down the slope".
The second dyslexic cows says "I think you're wrong. We have to
Zig-zag"! The first cow says..."NO! We have to zag-zig"
The second cow says "To settle this argument lets ask this man coming
up on the chairlift what we should do"
"Excuse me sir..should we zag-zig down the slope or should we zig-zag"
The man on the chairlift says "Sorry I don't know, I'm a tobogganist"
Both cows then say "Oh good! Can we have 20 Marlboro please"

Sorry for being way OT

Graeme (bringing you Scottish humour at its worst)

I thought the worst (in a good way) was Billy Connolly

JD

Graeme... in London wrote:
Graeme (bringing you Scottish humour at its worst)

A Scots boy came home from school and told his mother he had been given a
part in the school play. "Wonderful," says the mother, "What part is it?"
The boy says "I play the part of the Scottish husband!" The mother scowls
and says: "Go back and tell your teacher you want a speaking part."

A Scotsman took a girl for a ride in a taxi. She was so beautiful he could
hardly keep his eye on the meter

A Scotsmen and a Jewish man were having a magnificent meal at one of the
finest restaurants in New York .At the end of the evening the waiter came
over to present the check and a Scottish voice said "that's all right laddie
just gae the check to me". The headlines in the local newspaper next day
proclaimed "Jewish ventriloquist found beaten to death".

D
--

"Graeme... in London" wrote:
"bbq" wrote in message
news:L_Mwb.305263$Fm2.323901@attbi_s04...
[]

I got the nibbling Peat, but do not undestand the rather than Heather
part.

Sorry! Heather is a popular girls name in Scotland. (and is also a free
growing plant of the genus Erica)

LMAO 'tis a sad day when a stand-up comedian hasta 'splain his jokes to the
audience! I'll take Erica or Heather. Still laughing. Good one Graeme!

--
Nick, Retired in the San Fernando Valley www.boonchoo.com
"Giving violent criminals a government guarantee that their intended
victims are defenseless is bad public policy."
- John Ross, "Unintended Consequences"

"Graeme... in London" wrote:
[]

2 dyslexic cows go skiing,[]

Groan. Graeme, Graeme, Graeme.
Blimey, yer beginnin' ta shake me faith in ya!

--
Nick, Retired in the San Fernando Valley www.boonchoo.com
"Giving violent criminals a government guarantee that their intended
victims are defenseless is bad public policy."
- John Ross, "Unintended Consequences"