I bought a new Kamado smoker about 6 years ago. I haven't used it
yet, but I really like it a lot. All my neighbors ask me what it is
and I like showing it to them. They comment on how clean it is. It
makes me proud to own one of these.

The problem I have with it is I can't figure out how to open these
bags of charcoal. There's these two white strings knotted together
holding the flap closed at the top of the bag. I've bought dozens
of bags of charcoal, but they all have these frustrating two white
strings at the top that no matter what I try, just won't come loose.

Is there a website that explains how these strings can be removed so
that I can get at the charcoal inside? I've sent numerous letters
and called Kamado about the problem, but they never respond.

I'd really like to try out this $1,800 Kamado. It's so cool I just
ordered another one even bigger than the last one. But I'd like to
figure out how to open these bags so I'll be ready for it when it
arrives.

Thank you in advance,

--
Kevin S. Wilson
Tech Writer at a University Somewhere in Idaho
"You can safely ignore Kevin in order to
maximise life's experience." --A. Loon, in alt.religion.kibology

Mark Edwards wrote:
[snips]
No cluons were harmed when Kevin S. Wilson wrote:
The problem I have with it is I can't figure out how to open these
bags of charcoal. There's these two white strings knotted together
holding the flap closed at the top of the bag.

[I responded; then, cluelessly]

DK wrote:
You aren't very bright, are you?

He's really not, but The Home ran out of funds and Had To Let Him Go (if
you know what I mean).

So now I live in an apartmentum.

Fortunately, he got a job caring for a cat that belonged to an eccentric
millionnare, who died and left all her money to the cat. As long as the cat
is alive, he has money.

Fortunately, the cat has been replaced by a stuffed animal, and, a la Folger's
Cat Crystals, nobody has noticed.

On the other hand, I think he plans to barbecue that cat.

No no no. _KevinS_ plans that. I'm happy to leave it on top of the teddy bear
in a compromising position, where it's been for the last decade or so.

Dave
--
\/David DeLaney posting from "It's not the pot that grows the flower
It's not the clock that slows the hour The definition's plain for anyone to see
Love is all it takes to make a family" - R&P. VISUALIZE HAPPYNET VRbeableBLINK
http://www.vic.com/~dbd/ - net.legends FAQ & Magic / I WUV you in all CAPS! --K.

LOL!

No cluons were harmed when Kevin S. Wilson wrote:
I bought a new Kamado smoker about 6 years ago. I haven't used it
yet, but I really like it a lot.

I keep mine in the "it's only for looking at" room at the front of the
house. After all, if you spend that kind of money, you don't want to wear
it out by using it.


The problem I have with it is I can't figure out how to open these
bags of charcoal. There's these two white strings knotted together
holding the flap closed at the top of the bag. I've bought dozens
of bags of charcoal, but they all have these frustrating two white
strings at the top that no matter what I try, just won't come loose.

DO NOT mess with those strings! Those are fuses! Also, look around and see
if you can find some sulphur, diamonds, large bore bamboo and something
rope-like. If a giant lizard man comes lumbering up the driveway, you can
build a makeshift cannon.


Is there a website that explains how these strings can be removed so
that I can get at the charcoal inside?

What are you, some kind of terrorist? Why do you hate Idohoans?

I've sent numerous letters and called Kamado about the problem,
but they never respond.

They've likely already reported you to the BATF.


Thank you in advance,

If you really want to thank me, my father left 10 million pounds of prime
beef in a secret freezer, when he was assassinated by opposition forces. If
you will open up a meat locker account so that I cam move this meat out of
the country, I will give you 20 percent of it, much of it not even bones or
fat...


Mark-your-buddy-Ben-Deir-Dundat-Edwards
--
Proof of Sanity Forged Upon Request

[snips]

No cluons were harmed when Kevin S. Wilson wrote:
The problem I have with it is I can't figure out how to open these
bags of charcoal. There's these two white strings knotted together
holding the flap closed at the top of the bag.


DK wrote:
You aren't very bright, are you?

He's really not, but The Home ran out of funds and Had To Let Him Go (if
you know what I mean).

Fortunately, he got a job caring for a cat that belonged to an eccentric
millionnare, who died and left all her money to the cat. As long as the cat
is alive, he has money.

On the other hand, I think he plans to barbecue that cat.


Mark Edwards
--
Proof of Sanity Forged Upon Request

No cluons were harmed when Dirty Harry wrote:
LOL!

That's just stupid.

You cannot open a bag of charcoal by laughing at it. In fact, you'll just
make it hot under the collar until it spontaneously combusts and immolates
everything in your lingerie drawer.


Mark Edwards
--
Proof of Sanity Forged Upon Request

It isn't as hard as it sounds.

Place the bag of charcoal (this works for lump as well, so no worries)
on the grates of your pit, laying down. Orient the strings on one
side, the bottom of the bag on the other.

Take your chainsaw and cut the bag in two, being careful to keep as
much flying metal screaming around you from cutting you in two as
well. If you practice, you might get good enough to cut out some of
the grates as well, and if you are lucky you might have the charcoal
fall right where you need it. This is handy when grilling, but not
when you still need to load the firebox.

Now that the bag is open, call 911. You will no doubt need them
soon.

To start the fire before the EMTs arrive, pour premium (don't screw
with regular!) gas on the charcoal and the bag. I personally like one
gallon per ten pounds as a good ratio. Toss on a match. If it is
breezy, you can avoid your charcoal being blown out by doing this on a
wood deck with a wood cover, the lower and closer to the pit the
better to provide better protection.

If you are able, respond to the EMTs when they get to you. You should
be polite and ask them if they want a beer, and let them be the judge
of whether or not the fire department should be called as well. Let
the pros do their job!

OK. By now you might look like you were drug around behind a pickup
face down, and your house might be on fire. But don't worry. You
know how it's done now, and no one can take that away from you!

Oh, yeah... you should probably figure in a stipend to pay for your
upcoming divorce....

Robert

On 2008-05-17, Kevin S. Wilson wrote:

Is there a website that explains how these strings can be removed so
that I can get at the charcoal inside? I've sent numerous letters
and called Kamado about the problem, but they never respond.

Just put the whole thing in and light the bag. If that doesn't work,
you bought the wrong size bags for your smoker.


--
Nam Sibbyllam quidem Cumis ego ipse oculis meis vidi in ampulla
pendere, et cum illi pueri dicerent: beable beable beable; respondebat
illa: doidy doidy doidy. [plorkwort]

Adam Funk wrote:
On 2008-05-17, Kevin S. Wilson wrote:

Is there a website that explains how these strings can be removed so
that I can get at the charcoal inside? I've sent numerous letters
and called Kamado about the problem, but they never respond.

Just put the whole thing in and light the bag. If that doesn't work,
you bought the wrong size bags for your smoker.



or the wrong size smoker...

Kevin S. Wilson wrote:

Is there a website that explains how these strings can be removed so
that I can get at the charcoal inside? I've sent numerous letters
and called Kamado about the problem, but they never respond.

You have probably already been banned
from the Kamado forum
for discussing their charcoal in public.

Here's another one you can try:
http://www.kamadofraudforum.org/view...hp?p=4532#4532

--
pete

On May 16, 5:15*pm, "Kevin S. Wilson" wrote:


Kevvie's fallen off the wagon again it seems.


Poor Kevvie. Poor Kevvie's wife!

On Fri, 16 May 2008 19:15:00 -0500, Kevin S. Wilson wrote:

I bought a new Kamado smoker about 6 years ago. I haven't used it
yet, but I really like it a lot. All my neighbors ask me what it is
and I like showing it to them. They comment on how clean it is. It
makes me proud to own one of these.

The problem I have with it is I can't figure out how to open these
bags of charcoal. There's these two white strings knotted together
holding the flap closed at the top of the bag. I've bought dozens
of bags of charcoal, but they all have these frustrating two white
strings at the top that no matter what I try, just won't come loose.

Is there a website that explains how these strings can be removed so
that I can get at the charcoal inside? I've sent numerous letters
and called Kamado about the problem, but they never respond.

I'd really like to try out this $1,800 Kamado. It's so cool I just
ordered another one even bigger than the last one. But I'd like to
figure out how to open these bags so I'll be ready for it when it
arrives.

Alexander the Great solved this better'n you.

--
Chris McG.
Harming humanity since 1951.
"Well now you're just getting SILLY." -- Darla

** Posted from http://www.teranews.com **

(not crossposted to xxxxxx professional troll NG)

wrote:
It isn't as hard as it sounds.

Place the bag of charcoal (this works for lump as well, so no worries)
on the grates of your pit, laying down. Orient the strings on one
side, the bottom of the bag on the other.

Take your chainsaw and cut the bag in two, being careful to keep as
much flying metal screaming around you from cutting you in two as
well. If you practice, you might get good enough to cut out some of
the grates as well, and if you are lucky you might have the charcoal
fall right where you need it. This is handy when grilling, but not
when you still need to load the firebox.

Now that the bag is open, call 911. You will no doubt need them
soon.

To start the fire before the EMTs arrive, pour premium (don't screw
with regular!) gas on the charcoal and the bag. I personally like one
gallon per ten pounds as a good ratio. Toss on a match. If it is
breezy, you can avoid your charcoal being blown out by doing this on a
wood deck with a wood cover, the lower and closer to the pit the
better to provide better protection.

Hold up a second there, Robert. You want the lowest octane gas you can find.
Octane retards ignition, therefore higher octane gas is used in engines with
higher compression so you don't get pre-ignition (engine knock) or loss of
performance in newer computer controlled engines. For the best flammability,
and highest likelihood that subject troller will help improve the human gene
pool through self immolation, use cheap regular gas, or even better,
kerosene.

MartyB in KC

Nunya Bidnits wrote:

Kevin S. Wilson, a forgery created by a frequent poster on AFB,

Who, pray tell? It would be nice to know who it is that thinks crossposting
to the kibology numbnuts is cute. It's fine to joke around if it is here on
afb, but adding kibology.....

--
Dave www.davebbq.com

What is best in life? "To crush your enemies, see them driven before
you, and to hear the lamentation of the women." -- Conan

Nunya Bidnits wrote:
For the best flammability,
and highest likelihood that subject troller will help improve the human gene
pool through self immolation, use cheap regular gas, or even better,
kerosene.

MartyB in KC


naptha?
--
Nonny

Nonnymus
Never believe a person who is
Drunk, Horny or Running for Office.