It was just another Payday and I was tired of Mr. Goodbar. I saw Miss
Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse, on the corner of Clark and Fifth
Avenue, when I whipped out my Whopper and whispered, ''Hey Sweetheart, how'd
you like to Krunch on my big hunk for a Million Dollar Bar?'' Well, she
immediately went down on my Tootsie Roll and it was like Pure Almond Joy! I
couldn't help it, I grabbed her delicious Mounds, because it was easy to see
that this little Twix had the Red Hots. It was all I could do to hold the
Snicker and Crackle as my Butterfinger went up her tight little Kit Kat and
she started to scream, ''Oh Henry, Oh Henry!'' Soon she was fondling my Peter
Pan and ZagNut and I knew it wouldn't be long before I blew my Milk Duds
clear to Mars, giving her a taste of the old Milky Way. She asked me if I
was into M&M, but I said, ''Hey Chicklet, no kinky stuff.'' I said, ''Look you
little Reese's Pieces, don't be a Zero, be a Lifesaver. Why don't you take
my Whatchamacallit and slip it up your Bit 'O' Honey?'' (What a piece of
Juicy Fruit she was, too!) She screamed, "Oh Crackerjack, better than the
Three Musketeers!'' as I rammed my Ding Dong up her Rocky Road and into her
Peanut Butter Cup. Well, I was giving it to her Good 'N' Plenty, when all
the sudden ... my Starburst! Yeah, as luck would have it, she started to
grow Chunky and complained of a Wrigley in her stomach. Sure enough, nine
months later, out popped ... Baby Ruth!

......

One Pay-Day, Mr. Goodbar wanted to Skor, so he took Miss Hershey to the
Pot O' Gold Motel on the corner of Aero & Fifth Avenue to show her some
Twix.
He began to feel her Mounds which was pure Almond Joy & it made her Tootsie
Roll & made him want to Eat-More.

When he saw her Cherry Blossom, he gasped ''Sweet Marie, this is Wunderbar!''.
She let out a Snicker as his Butterfinger went up her Kit-Kat & Caused a
Milky Way.
She Screamed ''Oh Henry'' as she grabbed his Big Turk & squeezed his M&M's.
Miss Hershey said ''you are even better than the Three Musketeers!'' to which
Mr. Goodbar replied ''when you are this good, they call you Mr. Big''. Soon
she was a bit Chunky & Nine monthes later she had a Baby Ruth.