Andy wrote:

Somebody TELL IT RIGHT already, for Pete's sake. @/


Alright, but I'm warning you, after this y'all will be begging for more
"that's amore" puns. The joke is that bad. --Lia


An otherwise good looking man lost an eye in the war. Unable to afford
a good glass prosthetic eye, he settles for a wooden one. He's feeling
pretty bad about everything, the injury, the loss of his good looks,
even his discharge. His friends convince him to go a USO dance.


"Cheer up. Dance. Surely there's someone out there less fortunate than
you. Do a good deed, and you'll feel better," they tell him.


He goes, but he's still feeling pretty down. The band is good. All
around him men and women are dancing and having a great time, but he's
sure that if he asks a woman to dance, she'll make fun of him. He
slouches around the dance hall for a while. Then he sees her. Alone at
a table is woman with a cleft palate. She wouldn't be bad looking if
not for that and the fact that she's alone, looking miserable, has her
hair tied back in an unattractive style and a frumpy look about her.
The man thinks to himself "perfect, my friends were right. I'll ask her
to dance."


He approaches the table and says "Madame, would you like to dance?"


Her face brightens immediately as she says (and here it helps if the
teller has a slight Southern accent such that the ends of words aren't
enunciated too clearly) "oh, wouldn't I, wouldn't I!"


To which the man retorts "Hare lip! Hare lip!"