"Martin Willett" wrote in message
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Famished Alien wrote:
"Martin Willett" wrote in message
...
What can we do to stop aliens from eating us?

How about swearing off from eating meat?
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Hardly, silly Earthling! We don't want to eat skinny, sickly looking
veg*ns when we arrive at your planet (soon). We're craving some nice,
juicy, overfed, fast-food indulging, burger-wolfing fat-butt humans after
our long intergalactic trip! You know, something we can really sink our
alien fangs into.....

How likely is it that aliens would be hungry? If they were smart enough to
get here don't you think they would be smart enough to take a packed
lunch?
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Of course we're that smart, goofy Earthling! We have been consuming our
(boring) "packed lunches" on our journey to your planet, but now that we're
nearly there we have stopped eating them to let our appetites build up in
anticipation of our upcoming Earthling feasts, so we can really enjoy them!
So yeah, we're really craving some nice, fresh, juicy, overfed
burger-wolfing fat-butt humans to chow down on right about now... Yum! So
do you eat lots of burgers, Earthling Martin? (My numerous mouths are
watering in anticipation, and my fangs are all well sharpened...)

There seems to be a common bit of vegetarian propaganda that goes
something like “if you eat animals how can you expect intelligent aliens
not to eat you?”
Well well, those vegetarian Earthlings are pretty smart aren't they,
despite their spindliness. Maybe their (obviously) oversized brains
would be deliciously satisfying, though...

Why assume that aliens would want to eat anything from the top of the food
chain? Do we go and eat eagles and lions?

Some of you Earthlings eat meat fed "KittyBeef"! See here how delicious
looking:

http://www.kittybeef.com/history.php

So we prefer "HumanBeef". You got a problem with that, Earthling?

If they were really famished I'm sure a couple of herds of wildebeest in
between a couple of bakeries would go down a treat.

You can't escape your (inevitable) fate that easily, Earthling. We'll use
those for appetizers, before the main course of nice, fat, freshly caught
burger-fed human. We expect that your species will quickly become a widely
appreciated delicacy after we get the word out. Many aliens will soon be
stopping by your planet regularly when passing through your corner of the
galaxy, to lunch and munch on juicy, delicious, burger-fed humans. There
are many, many of you freely available on your planet, enough for countless
alien feasts for a good long time to come, and we won't let any of you go to
waste, for sure. I'm sure you'll find it all very.... exciting!

-The Famished Alien