Leila wrote:
You may know that I'm the mother of two large small boys, 6 1/2 and
almost 5; they are high-spirited, hilarious, sloppy, and not good at
fine motor tasks. Meals at my house are therefore messy and chaotic.
We eat in the kitchen, which is small and cluttered. The kids are
always rambunctious at suppertime and I get frazzled. They behave
reasonably well at table in restaurants and grandparents' homes,
however, so they aren't completely savage. But the younger one has
been refusing to come to the table (???) and was beginning to test me
in other ways at supper time. What a hassle.

Today the 6 y.o. and I were at Ikea, where he was enchanted by a model
dining room; he sat down at a place setting, discussed the
arrangements, spent ten minutes organizing and rearranging the plates,
chargers, candles etc. He's neurologically atypical and can be quirky
about things - he likes lining items up in rows. He just loved that
table setting, was delighted by the whole room. A light bulb went off
in my head. why not put out placemats and set the table decently at
home?

For dinner tonight I asked the two boys if they wanted to eat in the
dining room: YES! Want to help set the table? YES!!!! Oh boy. They got
to choose placemats and plate color, and the four year old found
napkin rings and insisted we use them (he'd never seen them used in
this house, don't know where he got the idea). THey brought serving
dishes in, and carefully laid a slice of cuke and tomato on mom and
dad's plates - saving some for us, you know, as they polished off the
rest of 'em themselves. They were models of civilized behavior.
Furthermore - who would have thought that the 4 y.o., who is obsessed
with guns, police, wearing construction worker costumes, nose picking
and fart jokes, would turn into such a table-service diva? He pulled
out five tea candles - one for each of us and one for the center. He
directed the placement of napkin rings. He unfolded the napkin and
placed it carefully on his lap. ???

Somehow these children have gotten a taste for civilized dining. God
knows they haven't seen much of it in our house lately, but they eat
with grandma once a week, and she sets a nice table (but mostly in her
tiny kitchen, not all this folderol of candles and such).

I have resolved to eat dinner in the dining room every night. It
causes such good behavior (and we like looking out the window at the
sunset reflected on our roses)

Furthermore, the civilized atmosphere makes the food taste better. Ob
Food: Tonight was pot roast in the pressure cooker, a simple recipe
with red wine, diced tomatoes, onion and garlic. I should have put in
celery and carrot but I just forgot...ANyway, you can bet that the
father of the household was happy to come home to well-behaved
children, a lovely dining room (most of the kid clutter had been swept
elsewhere) and a nice pot roast (and me, smiling serenely in the
candlelight). Here's to the finer domestic niceties.

Leila

That is so cool, Leila! I don't think when I was 4 years old my parents
even *owned* napkin rings, let alone used them Hope it keeps up! With
lots of positive encouragement for the creativity of the youngun's, I have a
feeling it will.

Jill