You are a good person DH, thanks. Well I don't know what a cutter goes
through, but sometimes when the pain is so bad inside you. You want to hurt
yourself to make greater pain so that the other pain isn't as bad. Psychical
pain can cover up bad emotional pain really easy.

--
Suicide is not Chosen; It happens when Pain Exceeds Resources for Coping
with Pain.

http://www.jokerstears.com

http://www.dacruestudios.com
wrote in message
...
On Mon, 27 Sep 2004 23:48:23 -0500, "Chad Michael Mallett"
wrote:

Well, since I was 20 I been on medication. So many different ones. I been
hospitalized twice. Thursday or Friday I cracked my sisters door in half
and
it broke a lot of her collectibles. I am due to see the psychiatrist on
the
7th of October. I have to drive 1 hour and a half one way to this one. I
am
on my fourth psy doc. So I am trying to make this one work.

Good job man. Make it work.

He is knew. But
I seen the psych nurse before with the other doctor. So she is trying her
best to help me. She treats me for hour long sessions and tries
everything
in her power to help me. I turned to being a vegetarian again and I use
products with animal testing and animal byproducts in it. I feel like
shit
for doing it. I do. Sometimes I don't care. I cried tonight. I was
thinking
over my life. I met my first real girlfriend about a month ago. And when
I
was hospitalized for my suicidal plan. She dumped me. And never returns
my
calls. She was also suicidal, a cutter, and mentally ill as well. I told
her
that was totally uncalled for when I needed her the most she wasn't there
for me. She said she rather God then me. That she lives her life for God.
Not anyone else

It sounds like people have to do what they have to do to get through
it.
If God exists, maybe he'll help you a bit too.

I will always be alone. Plus I will be poor and a piece of trash to
society
and my loving family. I thank you guys for responding to an offtopic
post. I
just don't have anyone that understands me. I don't. I am all alone here.

No one can know what you're going through or why...possibly you don't
understand it entirely yourself.

I
never cut my arms before. But sometimes I feel like I want to. I don't
know.

Out of curiosity, what does cutting yourself do for a person?

I need to go vegan again. I am trying. I hate life.

Maybe you would agree that that particular outlook could have a
significant
impact on other aspects of your life? It sounds like you've got a chemical
imbalance that causes you to be depressed, or feel bad in one way or more.
That sux, and I guess you have to deal with it. But on the brighter side,
be
glad that you're living in an age where you get better treatment than you
would
have in the not too distant past. Be glad that you have a house to live
in, and
vehicles to carry you around, and all of the things that are easy to take
for
granted. For the **vast!!** majority of time that man has been on Earth,
people
lived in tents when they were lucky, had no decent medical care, couldn't
communicate with others any distance away, even the most educated didn't
know many of the things that you do, etc.... You can find a lot of reasons
to
appreciate your position, as well as reasons to hate it.