In article ,
ospam (DJS0302) wrote:

Okay I'm one of these people who's always questioning everything but
why do people feel they need to bring a gift with them when you
invite them to your house for dinner? I always want to tell people
we wouldn't invite you if we didn't want your company. You don't
have to "pay" us some sort of reward in order to be invited in. The
only thing I ask is that you reciprocate the invitation.

Not everyone feels a need to bring a gift with them, nor does everyone
do it. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. If I do, it is VERY likely
to be a jar or two of homemade jam or jelly. (What a surprise!)
It's called a "hostess gift." A small little something that's maybe a
gesture of appreciation to be invited to be in your company. A little
treat--not a big deal. I didn't have any luck searching for its origins
but I didn't try very hard, either. Maybe you'll have better luck at
it. In some cultures, flowers are the thing to bring (a small bouquet
or a couple nice stems). I've received small flowering plants (maybe $5
at the supermarket--whatever might be seasonal) from the folks who know
I love flowers. I've received small food gifts -- a box of nuts or
mints; a bottle of wine. If it's food, I feel no obligation to serve it
(perhaps I should?). If it's flowers, I enjoy them immensely for as
long as they last and thing wonderful thoughts about the gift and its
giver and make a note to be sure to invite them over again. "-)

I grabbed this from www.thirdage.com:
"Online Advice for Gift Giving
Packing for a summer trip to visit family or friends? Don't forget to
include something for your host or hostess. The possibilities are
endless, but the goal is the same -- to please the recipient.
Etiquette expert Letitia Baldrige advises that showing someone they're
worthy of your thought makes them feel special. And that good feeling
may bring you another invitation next summer. A thank you note is
essential."

Miss Manners says to not bring anything that suggests that it is
supposed to be consumed or otherwise immediately enjoyed -- don't screw
with with the hostess' menu. If you bring me some flowers, please don't
include a vase -- I could open my open vase shop.
--
-Barb
www.jamlady.eboard.com
"If you're ever in a jam, here I am."