On May 30, 7:51�pm, Dave Smith wrote:
I have a friend who is �a wonderful kind woman, not much of a cook, but
really nice, and lives in a lovely home in a nice neighbourhood. One of
her neighbour's is a chef. The chef's wife called and invited her and
her husband to a party for her chef husband. Our friend and the chef
family had been to a party at my brother's where my nephew had cooked a
quick roasted beef tenderloin fir a short time in a very hot oven.

Chef's wife extended this invitation to my friend and asked if she could
bring that dish. She also asked her to bring two bottles of wine, one
red and one white. She specified which wines. �Then chef's wife asked
her to bring enough of the meat dish for 20. The date of the party is
also our friend's birthday.

Current prices for a whole beef tenderloin around her are about $80. The
wines turn out to be $20 a piece. My friend was not thrilled. She
discussed it with her husband, who said screw that we'll have our own
party her for that money. She called back the chef's wife, clarified the
date..... ooops sorry. I didn't know that my husband had planned a party
for me here on that night so sorry, but we can't make it.

The next day she got a call from another neighbour asking if she was
attending the party. �Our friend said they had been invited but could
not attend because her husband was having a party for her. It seems that
� chef's wife had called the other neighbour after our friend canceled
and asked her to bring the two beef tenderloins... and two bottles of
wine. �So our friend asked the other neighbour if she was going....... no
way !!

I have to hand to to our friend that she was able to find a nice way to
decline the invitation. �I am not sure how I would react to an
"invitation to a party" that is going to cost me $200. I have no problem
with a pot luck, but being expected to supply beef tenderloin for 20
people plus $40 worth of wine is a bit much, IMHO.

Gee, if they can't afford beef tenderloin I would strongly suggest
they change their menu to tube steak.

What's to think... when I host a party I pay, not my invited guests...
they can bring a host gift if they choose but not something they
expect me to serve, it won't happen unless it's flowers. When I host
a dinner I pay for everything, I make the menu, I prepare everything
and no one helps, in fact I permit no one to enter my kitchen while
its in operation. I stipulate to every guest as one of the provisions
of their invite is that they are not to bring any viands they expect
me to serve... they ain't gonna fercockt up my menu.

I make exceptions for cook-outs... then I permit guests to bring their
own steak and grill it themself, in fact I prefer folks bring and
grill their own steak, then they are responsible for how it's cooked
and tastes... but I don't let guests grill steaks I paid for (not even
tube steak). And don't bring chicken or pork or fish or lamb or any
weirdness to my beef steak fest unless you bring your own grill.

To answer your question, in case I wasn't clear, when I'm invited to a
party with the stipulation that I bring the food, to feed folks I
don't even know, I decline, and I give no reason.... why should I feel
I have to lie by saying I have a previous engagement, it's none of
their beeswax why I decline.