In my life I've gone from bloodfaced carnivore to vegetarian to vegan
to what I am now. I'm trying to figure out the word for what I am
now.

I don't eat anything that's alive or that's a contiguous part of
anything that's alive. Basically, I apply veganism to plants as well
(no lettuce, no potatoes, no spices, no sugar, etc.) Is there a
catchy name for this dietary niche?

I've heard the term "fruitarian" which is pretty close to the mark
(although it does sound a little wimpy), but it's still not entirely
applicable, since I eat grains and beans. I've also heard of the
"Jain" movement which parallels my eating habits closely, but Jainism
is more of a spiritual belief than a dietary preference, and I'm not
quite ready to accept a new god simply because he/she offers the
tastiest menu!

You'd never believe how tough it is living with this inability to
classify myself. At restaurants I end up wasting 15 minutes trying to
explain to the server how I prefer my meal. I mean, it's hard enough
convincing some people that beef broth is still beef, y'know? I wish
I could just say one word like "vegan" and have everyone understand.

Thanks, gang. I eagerly await your gastronomically nomenclative
expertise...

-EW